New Parents and Parents-To-Be of Molokai

Community Contributed
By Aaron Mitchell, MS, LMHC

Young parents usually tell me as a mental health counselor the same thing, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing.’ The truth is, as a parent myself, none of us always know what to do. This is pretty normal. However, what we usually end up doing is we fill in the blank with the same thing our parents did. Which leads to my next bit of advice.

Teach your kids by example. If they don’t listen, listen to them. If they lie to you, always tell them the truth. If they don’t respect you, show them respect. Our keiki are always watching and learning. Which leads to my next bit of advice.

Teach based on their interests. Rather than trying to force them to be interested in the things you want to teach them about, teach them about what they are already interested in. This will make things so much easier on you and your keiki. Because they are always learning, they are always making mistakes. Mistakes are just as important as the success of figuring it out. Let them make those safe failures. Which leads me to my third bit of advice.

A child failing doesn’t call for our ridicule. The mistake is ridiculous enough. We are there to support and make sure they are safe. My son filled an empty Pringles can with water and placed it next to the TV. When I came upon this, I instantly thought of how water doesn’t mix with electronics, and I found myself having to pause for a moment. I asked him if this was an experiment. ‘Experiment’ wasn’t his word but he knew what it meant. After a quick thought “yeah,” he replied. We moved the experiment outside and he continued to learn without all the anger but rather with support. Which leads me to my last bit of advice.

Being a parent requires a massive amount of patience and we find that we have quickly lost any personal time or self-care. Our sweet Molokai island is cut off from much of the world but help is available right here on the island. Child and Family Services at 808-553-5529 in Kaunakakai is a great place to get started. They can get you in touch with other resources you might need be it financial support, housing, or mental health support. Everyone’s needs are different but if you are a parent, be certain you will have needs. Get the support you need. Talk to your family, friends, school counselor, and get that help. This way, you’re bringing a child into a loving and peaceful world filled with aloha.